An Awful Nuacne ...

Somehow i feel different , of all the things that happened , of all the things i've said or done , and of all the things that i've learnt ... To understand this inexplicable feeling is definitely not an easy thing to do ... I wonder and i wonder hard ... From the heart i feel uncomfortable , but from my mind , i feel so relaxed ... =) ...

Tears hangover , a despaired moment , a lost feeling two nights ago and just this morning when i found out the truth of a two-faced liar , a loss of an important item and an indifferent character ... All contributing to nothing but a massive break-down ... None but the best of the least helped ...

A reason to hate , a reason to love , a reason to lie and a reason to cry ... Everything happens for a reason and i know mine ... For God knows best ! He is my maker , my saviour , my Father and i now know that He has much greater plans for me then those i have planned for myself ... Today , i realised how easy it is to just trust ... A big loss , i might say , but a larger gain soon after ... No words can sum up the whole 2 days of my life , one of the worst i have ever had ...

Though we,ve been through ups and downs , my so called 'brothers' are nothing but a bunch of liars ... One that will talk but not do , one that will say and back down ... Where are they when i need them ? Working ? Dating ? or Playing ? Though my hopes for them are for the best in their lives and that it will not destroy them , their actions differ ... I miss them and the truth hurts , or maybe the problem is in me ? Being either too sensitive or being either too over-reacting about small petty issues ? I don't know ...

Nevertheless , i'm grateful for the different people that God has set in my life , mainly Law , Mimi , Ame and a few others ... Never had i been better if not for Law , after all his teachings and all our conflicts , i believe that he makes alot more sense then i do ...=) ... Or rather , i make none ... Ame , if you ever read my blog , i've got to thank you for that night , thank you for talking and cracking jokes ... =) ... Mimi , I <3 you ... There is nothing else that i can say to you my brother ... =) ...

I read through Jodi Picoult's 'Keeping Faith' today and i stopped at the part where the psychiatrist tells Mariah that she should consider the possibilities that Faith might be see-ing God as her imaginary friend ... When i read the line 'she might be see-ing God' , a strange chill went down my spine ... What am i trying to say ? I don't know ... Maybe God is telling me to trust in Him before the bad news came right after ? I seriously don't ...

The past weeks have been all about travelling to different places , some near , some far ... Some so well that i am even getting bored of it ... But it was a new experience , a new perspective ...

Well just a short summary of what has happened and what will be up soon on my blog are these :-
1. Trip to Indonesia
2, Trip to Genting + KL ...
3. Hai Chin's Birthday
4. Law's proposal/confession
5. Work as a bartender/waiter and as a short skit storyteller .

I would like to tell more but it's 2.10am and i just got lied right in the face ... So i shall continue this emo night by praying and resting ... I hope that tomorrow will be a fresh new start , a brand new day !!

From ,
Ben Ong
with
<3 ...

The Past , The Present and The Future

A quote that has always been in my mind from the first time i've ever heard it till now is this :-

" Yesterday is HISTORY , 2moro is MYSTERY but today is a GIFT , thats why its called PRESENT "

This quote taught me to live life to the fullest for anything can happen the next minute , but to think of it , living life to the fullest doesn't just mean enjoy and enjoy and enjoy . It's more to accomplishing your goals/aim in life . If everyone were to enjoy and enjoy , who would be working ? Who would be inventing ? Who would be teaching ? Who would be preaching ? And who would be helping ?

This year is meant to be my " Year of Growth " where i grow in alot of things in a different environment , different community , a different perspective ... So i'm making clear a little by little to people around me and about things around me , for carrying the weight isn't what i want to be doing , for it isn't healthy to be doing that always ... Why ? It causes others as well as yourself ...

Today , what prompt me to blog is this particular song " Back to December " - Taylor Swift ...
Well , i like Taylor like ALOT ...[Yea , i know i sound like a sissy but so what ?] ... This song reminds me of why so many people loves her ... Her songs might be cheesy or mayb a lil too over the top at times but when you think of it , she is actually talking about us[or at least when we were young/or at a point of time in our lives] feeling so passionate about LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS ... Take "Back to December" as an example ... Speaking of how a guy got rejected and gone but she regrets and it seems like there is no turning back ... But i'm telling YOU , if the guy truly loves YOU , he'll be waiting for you even though you take years to complete what you need to do ... Here you go , the lyrics ...


" BACK TO DECEMBER " - Taylor Swift

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family ?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
Small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burning in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die


So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time


These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up late playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
Then I think about summer
All the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came and the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love
And all I gave you was goodbye


So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December turn around and make it all right
I go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your turns
Your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is in your door I understand

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December turn around and make it all right
I go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

If i could , i would wish to go back to September/October rather than December ... =) ...

And here are some shots i took[for fun] ... Hehehe

Yeah thats all !!
Peace-out ... =) ...
Ben Ong #7 ... ^^

2011 , The Year of Growth ! =)

It's been awhile since i've updated my BLOG , nevertheless , Jeszlynn - I will ... =) ...

A recap of what have been done after SPM is over till today was :-
- Worked with Allyson (3 days)
- YouthQuake 2010 (26th-30th)
- Genting (30th-1st)
- Visit/Trip to Malacca (Malacca Wesley , Cendol , Etc)
- Ipoh (Nga Choi Kai-If thats how you spell it ?)
- Penang on 2nd !!! =) ... (I missed Penang so much)
- Job Hunting !!

Lets starts from SPM ?
- During the period of SPM , i finally understood the meaning of Stress and Hardship !! I barely slept well throughout the first two weeks of exam ... But God was good , He answered my prayers and made me felt great ... SPM was just a so-so for me ... Not expecting to get a great result but hopefully sufficient ...

Next , YouthQuake !!

Ps. Joe Loon : ARE YOU READY !!!
400+ youth : Yeahh .... =.=
Ps. Joe Loon : ARE YOU READY FOR GOD TO 'ROCK YOUR WORLD' !!!
400+ Youth : YEAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!!! =) [And the crowd went wild]

Guess these 5 days of screaming and shouting and praising and having fun won't be enough for all of us who joined and enjoyed YouthQuake in PeaceHaven , Genting in 2010 . Worship sessions were awesome ! Vocals , Guitarist , Drummers , Pianist , Bassist and Woship Leaders were great in making a pathway for the youths of Malaysia to connect to God ! Good Job people !! Plenary sessions started off with the dialog you've just read by Ps. Joe and the response of the 400 youth which filled the place by 4pm , 26th Dec from all around Malaysia . As one of the participants i truly enjoyed the camp , the food was awesome and the people , great ! Met alot of old and new friends , and through this camp , my eyes were opened to how much people can be . They're so GOOD !!!! In all aspects that is . Studies , IQ , Smart and the list goes on .
The lesson that Ps. Joe preached was truly a knife stabbed in our hearts[or at least to me] . He talked about things which are very true in our lives today and the challenge ? Hmmm ... I would leave it those that came and heard ... =) ... Everything else in the camp was good , games , workshops , team-building ... Lets just let some pictures do the talking will we ?

Pics aren't all mine cause i din get my cam that time ... Am really thankful for the people there ... =)

How am i gonna grow this year ? Well a simple growing thru serving Christ !! =)

Will have session 2 of "Year of Growth" soon  ... But for now , Sleep ... =)


Signing off ,
Ben Ong #22 ^^

Improvement

Like anyone who's 17 this year , i'm also facing the 'SPM' . I assume everyone knows what that is . Nevertheless , I'm still taking the time and the effort to write something on improvement .

Things we do and people we face each day are actually what teaches us about life . Circumstances we face , problems we solve and hardships we endure helps us both physically and mentally , thus creating space for us to improve either in work , studies , character and the like . Who am I ? What is my purpose in life ? What do I want to do ? What will happen if *a particular event* happens ? What will I do then ? Do I love her ? Have you ever asked yourself these questions ? I assume so ! How did you then answer the question if not for guidance from people around you and also from certain abstract from the newspaper , radio and the like .

But beware ! Improvement can mean towards good or maybe toawrds bad . It's your choice to make and your step to choose ... =)

Like a wise man once asked his apprentice ,

Wise Man  : What/Which is the largest room in the world ?
Apprentice : According to the Guinness World Records , the largest room in the world should be in the Pentagon .
Wise Man : No ! It's the scope of improving one's self on all levels in our lives - be it personal , academic , social , professional or spiritual .
Apprentice : Huh ?
Wise Man : Yes , the largest room in the world is 'The Room of Improvement' .

Signing off ,
Ben Ong #22 ^^

The significant ONE !

So , what is the significant thing about this ONE ?

Well , this thing that we call ONE is very significant because it means , cause and brings alot of meanings and situations . Why say so ? Simple , one simple mistake can bring to a downfall of man . One choice and the whole world is saved . One decision can make u happy . One act can cause people to suffer . One move can bring people together , one move can make you believe in something more , one move can set the whole generation free(quoted from step up 3) . One Man saved all our lives !!

See the significant of one ? No ?

Let me tell you more then ...
One mistake in choice of words in your daily life/work life can cause you your job , your friend , how people view you and maybe , your life . One decision in life can set a whole nation free of slavery , a whole nation free of corruption . One act can cause another to suffer , though u can think that it doesn't mean a thing but look further , people might suffer for that particular(you think doesn't matter) act in time to come . One move you make can bring people/families together , one move you make can cause others to believe in something more (that they should) , one move the leaders of our nation make can set all of us free !! And the most important thing is that ONE choice and only ONE MAN saved all our lives !! And that man is none other than the man that died on the cross for all of our sins !!

So guys , choose properly your ONE ... The ONE that can make a difference in your life and others as well ... =) ...

"Be joyful not for every circumstance but be joyful in every circumstance"

Signing off ,
Ben Ong #22 ^^

All Glory goes to God !! =)

Supx people , Ben Ong is back ... =)

Today , I almost got knocked down by a bike after school . How did it happen ? Well , it was after school and i was walking over the road to the bus stand for transport home . Sophia Lim and I and a whole bunch of schoolmates were waiting for the traffic light to b red so that we could cross to the other side , then when it turned red we all started walking over . Eventually when we were halfway walkin , an indian biker(note that he's a school kid) wanted to hit the red light and speed through . He knocked into a form 5 guy from my school but thank God he didn't get hurt(maybe because he's too fat ?) Hehehe ... The indian guy didn't even turn to say that he's sorry . Gosh , how rude and unethical can people be these days !! Anyways , if it wasn't for Sophia's attention and pullin me backwards , i would now be in the hospital and if it isn't for God , i might have lost my life for the 2nd time again . =)

Signing off ,
Ben Ong #22 ^^

Forgiveness

I once received a message to ask me to treat people that i don't care about , a little better . It started of with an argument and it ended with this particular message . So , the question is why am i so cold ?  It is so because i'm a person who really don't care bout people i'm not close with or rather don't like . I'm a person that when you're good to me i'll take you for granted . That is why i'm afraid that if i'm too nice to a person that particular person might take me for granted . I cannot stand being taken for granted . That is one of the biggest problem i face in life . Forgiveness ... :( ...

People always say that as Christians , we should take Jesus as an example to forgive everyone , even The Lord's Prayer says this "And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" . So , is it ever so hard to forgive ? It was , for me but now ? I can outrightly tell you that it isn't ... :) ... Situations after situations , i've finally found that forgiving isn't very hard nor is it very simple . It's more to how you give and take . Nobody's perfect except Jesus Christ , therefore everyone will face problems . it can be to themselves or to others . In my case , i'm always the problem ... :) ... I'm always the notorious one causing problems with my character and my attitude . Just so you know it , I'm very bad to people that i dislike . I say things about them and talk bout them without even thinking twice . Now , i'm learning how to just forgive and forget and i'm really amazed at how forgiveness can heal a person and how much it means to let go of burdens . So yeah ! Forgiveness ... :) ... So yea , I forgive all of you ... :)

The main reason why i post this up is to tell you that i'm sorry and that i want you to forgive me like how i forgave you . I have come to realising that losing you would hurt . I'm sorry for the things i've done wrong to you , i'm sorry for saying the wrong things and i'm sorry for all my wrong actions taken in the past . All i ask for now is for you to forgive me and give me advice on how to improve . I'm learning how to be a man and i'll need your guidance . Real Love , i've learnt , is a very , very strong form of forgiveness . And i'm learning how to love you , despite whatever we've encountered , despite whatever we've done ... :) ...

"Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation" -Roberto Assagioli

“Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness, or else forgiving another”

Signing off ,
Ben Ong #22 ^^